Manage the Boss - Part 4

4. Know your style – and know their style; and adapt your behaviour to suit their preferences. A great analogy from relationship expert Shay McConnon is that of the “hot chilli trap”. What is this? It’s when someone assumes that, because they love hot chilli, everyone else does too! Patently, some people do not like hot chilli!

If you’re in a foreign country you at least attempt to learn “please” and “thank you” in their language and show respect for their customs. It’s just courtesy. You adapt your own behaviour to show respect for the differences of perception.

To assume, because we speak the same language, we see things in the same way  – is quite clearly erroneous, yet we still persist in believing the mantra “treat others as you’d like to be treated.”

Absolutely not! Treat others as they would like to be treated.

To Be Continued ...

Manage the Boss - Part 3

3. Consistently look for ways to add value. This is a really simple rule. Bosses are more likely to listen if you speak in “can-do” language, and you are organised, and sound enthusiastic and eager to deliver results.

Look ahead when discussing a project, rather than dwelling on what’s already occurred. Follow through on promises. And adopt a “no-excuses” policy. Failing to produce results almost guarantees a boss will doubt your abilities. So, if you haven’t quite achieved what you set out to do – rather than saying what you’ve not been able to do, start with what you have achieved; be specific about what barriers there were, and summarise your plans to get back on track.

Your boss has pressures of his own. Don’t add to them.

To Be Continued ...

Manage the Boss - Part 2

2. Anticipate and address a boss’ concerns.  The trick here is a technique from what we call Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and is about being able to see the different “perceptual positions” around an issue. Put simply this means seeing something through someone else’s eyes, so you understand their thoughts, feelings, worries and perspectives.


An obvious way is to ask them! And we’d definitely encourage you to fnd the right opportunities to do just that. However, sometimes there’s neither time, nor is it appropriate. So what do you do then? You put yourself in their shoes. And when we say in their shoes – we mean wearing their shoes and looking through their eyes! This is not how you would feel in their shoes. You’re not them!


So, this is easier said than done. But here’s a few killer questions to ask yourself:


What will my  boss be anxious about?


What do his bosses expect of him?


How does what I do to help him/her look good?


If I/we do “x”, what might he/she be concerned about?


By answering these questions you’ll be much clearer about what you need to do to both pre-empt and address their concerns. It also significantly increases their perception you really understand where they are coming from, which in turn significantly  strengthens the trust and relationship between you.








To Be Continued ....

FIX A BAD RELATIONSHIP !

Remember that falling in love is not a one-way ticket to a life long band. Love is work in progress, you have to choose to love your spouse every single day, no matter what the situation is.

Most couples are unable to sort out their differences as they do not communicate. Talk yo your partner even if you know it will lead to an argument. Choose a private place and a time when you can discuess your issues without interruptions.

Stick to this rule. No matter what the fight is about, no name calling will be allowed. Also refrain from references to past history and cheap shots during the argument. Stick to the issue at hand.

Listen to your spouse attentively without interruption. Pay attention to the voice, the emotions behind the words and body language. Do not try to change those feelings or offer solutions, just hear them out.

This is a golden rule to live by. Don't ever go to bed angry at each other. Call a truce before bedtime. Most things look much better in the morning.

Take action. Do something every day that shows your spouse how much you love him/her. The gesture will definately be appreciated and reciprocated.

Handling Difficult Relationship With Boss - Part 2

Yesterday we learnt about what are the DON'T towards handling a difficult relationship with the Boss, today we take a look at the DO's....

DO's

• Get perspective. Try to understand why they are behaving like they are, suggests Walker. "Have they just moved, or are they coping with the strain of a big new mortgage or are they worried about their position? If you can tell yourself their behaviour isn't your fault, it's a basic first step to getting control back. Reeves agrees: "If you can't resolve the problem, get out. Even in this economy, you don't need to work for a psychopath."

• Try to talk directly to them. "Speak from your own perspective, using phrases like 'I feel', instead of accusatory 'you' expressions," says Reeves. Body language is important, says Walker. "Bad bosses find it harder to intimidate people who appear confident. Confidence is like a muscle, the more you exercise it the stronger it gets."

• Document everything – you never know when it may come in handy.

• Try to find an ally to confide in and guide you through. "It could be a supervisor or board member," says Reeves. "But you need to go higher up the food chain ; don't ask a colleague."

Concluded

Handling Difficult Relationship With Boss - Part 1

For most people, the logical first step towards dealing with a work problem is to approach your manager. But what if your manager actually is the problem? A recent survey from the Chartered Management Institute (CMI) revealed that almost half of UK workers say they have left a job because of bad management.

"It's not surprising it is such an issue," says Ruth Spellman, the CMI's chief executive. "We invest less in our managers than our global competitors, and it shows. Most individuals never set out to manage people, and have not been trained to do so."

But walking out of a job is easier said than done, especially in the current economic climate. So what can you do to minimise the impact of a difficult relationship with your boss?

Don't

• Lose your temper in front of your boss or colleagues. Jill Walker, author of Is Your Boss Mad? says: "A trick I once used, at the moment of extreme mad boss's madness, was to gently approach them and ask if I could get them a cup of tea – if you teach them how they should be behaving, it can be utterly disarming."

• Let your work slide. Make sure things are getting done, even if your boss is a terrible manager. "Maintain a track record for efficiency and get others to pick up the slack if the boss is not doing their job," says Ellen Reeves, author of careers guide Can I Wear My Nose Ring to the Interview? But don't do things your boss tells you to do if you know they are unethical, illegal or unfair," warns Walker. "It's you that will end up in trouble – and it's you that will be unhappy,"

• Suffer in silence. "As far as I know we only have one life, so don't waste yours being abused by a nasty, incompetent boss," says Reeves.

To Be Continued ....